I remember the first time I met you; I was confident, determined and carefree. You appeared out of nowhere, as if you were lurking in the background, waiting for the chance to take advantage of me. I was introduced to you by a family member as she told me I was unworthy. You were my dirty little secret for years because I was afraid that no one would understand our relationship and would judge me. You always knew how to make me feel special like I was the only one for you.
I have always been your prized possession, your trophy, and your pawn. You made my body feel sensations like no other. You perfected the art of reminding me how unworthy I was. You tormented me with your anxious rants of sweats, racing thoughts, sleepless nights, and heart palpitations. I was in disbelief and unwilling to accept the reality that you were controlling me. Our constant fights left me overwhelmed even though I won most of them. You overwhelmed and consumed me; I knew it was time to let you go.
Our relationship started to change when I decided to accept you and commit working with you. You taught me the power of healing through acceptance. You showed me that I was my harshest critic. Since you abused me more than anyone else, I am no longer afraid of rejection, judgment or loneliness. I won’t miss you, but I am committed to keeping you out of my life. I have no regrets about our relationship, and I appreciate the lessons.