Dear Anxiety:

I remember the first time I met you; I was confident, determined and carefree. You appeared out of nowhere, as if you were lurking in the background, waiting for the chance to take advantage of me. I was introduced to you by a family member as she told me I was unworthy. You were my dirty little secret for years because I was afraid that no one would understand our relationship and would judge me. You always knew how to make me feel special like I was the only one for you.

I have always been your prized possession, your trophy, and your pawn. You made my body feel sensations like no other. You perfected the art of reminding me how unworthy I was. You tormented me with your anxious rants of sweats, racing thoughts, sleepless nights, and heart palpitations. I was in disbelief and unwilling to accept the reality that you were controlling me. Our constant fights left me overwhelmed even though I won most of them. You overwhelmed and consumed me; I knew it was time to let you go.

Our relationship started to change when I decided to accept you and commit working with you. You taught me the power of healing through acceptance. You showed me that I was my harshest critic. Since you abused me more than anyone else, I am no longer afraid of rejection, judgment or loneliness. I won’t miss you, but I am committed to keeping you out of my life. I have no regrets about our relationship, and I appreciate the lessons. 

No Regrets,

Anxiety Survivor!

Published by Nicky Cameron

Emergent Counseling & Consulting embodies my passion to serve and empower. I spent the last fifteen years working in behavioral health organizations serving children and families with mental health and substance use issues. I am daring myself to trod the path before me with acceptance, openness and curiosity. I'm on a mission to prevent as many deaths by suicide as possible by teaching others how to use their coping skills to have power over their adversities. If I can help at least one person ease his or her pain and feel hopeful, then I will fulfill my purpose on earth.

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