You can love your baby with your whole heart and still feel like you are drowning. You can be grateful for being a mother and struggle daily with thoughts that you are a bad mom.
Baby came home and everyone wanted to come visit. Now the visitors have gone home and the check-ins have dwindled. Everyone thinks you are fine. Meanwhile you are hanging on by a thread. Longing for a good night’s sleep. Reminiscing about a time before motherhood.
Can you relate? Stick with me.
What does postpartum depression feel like?
People often brush postpartum depression off as the baby blues. They are two different things. Postpartum depression can show up as tears, snapping at everyone, or feeding your baby while feeling disconnected. The National Institute of Mental Health describes the baby blues as mild worry, unhappiness, and exhaustion in the first two weeks after birth. When those feelings are intense or last longer, that points toward postpartum depression.
Common signs listed by NIMH include:
- Sadness, anxiety, or an empty feeling that sticks around most days
- Irritability or restlessness that feels unlike you
- Trouble sleeping, even when the baby is finally asleep
- Guilt, worthlessness, or a steady voice saying you are failing
- Losing interest in people and things you used to enjoy
- Trouble bonding with your baby
- Thoughts of harming yourself or your baby
What didn’t get mentioned by NIMH are the days when you forget to eat, the days you struggle to shower, and the days when it feels like a damn warzone in your head.
If these feelings have lasted longer than two weeks, it is time to allow yourself to get the support you deserve before things get heavier.
Are Black mothers more likely to have postpartum depression?
Yes, the research points that way. In 2018, CDC survey data from 31 states and sites found postpartum depressive symptoms in 13.2% of new mothers overall (CDC MMWR, 2020). The same report found symptoms in 18.2% of Black mothers, compared with 11.4% of White mothers. In plain numbers, symptoms were roughly 60% more common among Black mothers.
A 2024 study in Health Affairs looked at people who gave birth in 2020 across seven U.S. jurisdictions. Symptoms were reported by 16.0% of Black respondents and 10.9% of White respondents (full text).
How does racism affect postpartum depression?
Context matters here. Systemic racism is part of this story. Researchers used CDC survey data from nine jurisdictions, collected between 2012 and 2015. Women of color who were upset by racial discrimination had nearly three times the odds of postpartum depressive symptoms (Weeks et al., 2022).
Among women of color with at least some college education, the odds were more than threefold. For women without a high school diploma, the link was less than twofold. More education came with a stronger link, which surprises a lot of people.
Mistreatment during birth is documented too. The Giving Voice to Mothers study found that about one in six people reported mistreatment by health care providers during childbirth. It was reported more often by women of color and in hospital births (Vedam et al., 2019; Birth Place Lab summary).
In my work, many Black mothers describe childbirth in ways that sound like betrayal trauma and moral injury. The institutions and providers who were meant to care for them left them feeling dehumanized and shamed. Some mothers tell me they sat with distressing pain during labor. They didn’t ask for pain medication or advocate for themselves because they didn’t want to be seen as a problem while they were so vulnerable.
Why don’t more Black mothers get help for postpartum depression?
“We don’t have time.” “We don’t want to be judged.” A lot of us learned to go numb and just keep going. Pray on it. Keep family business in the house. Suffer in silence so you aren’t seen as weak, because the elders treated a high pain tolerance as a badge of honor. Those lessons helped our mothers and grandmothers survive.
The health system adds its own barriers. A study followed 29,601 mothers on New Jersey Medicaid who gave birth between 2004 and 2007. Nine percent of White mothers started postpartum mental health care. Only 4% of Black mothers did (Kozhimannil et al., 2011).
Among people who gave birth in 2020 and had postpartum depressive symptoms, about 37% of Black respondents received mental health care. For White respondents, it was about 67% (Health Affairs, 2024). Put another way, 100 minus 37 leaves roughly 63 of every 100 Black mothers with symptoms who got no care.
If you have been waiting to get the support you deserve, I understand why. Waiting usually comes down to access and trust.
When is postpartum depression an emergency?
Despite having remarkable support, I recall when I had my daughter twenty-three years ago, my number one goal was trying to figure out how to make it from one day to the next. No one could have prepared me for my experience of postpartum depression.
So here is my take, postpartum depression becomes an emergency the moment you have thoughts that death would be easier, or thoughts of harming yourself or your baby. If you hear yourself saying “this is too much,” or the heaviness has lasted longer than two weeks, that is your signal to call a therapist or your doctor this week.
The struggle is real that first year after childbirth. You may feel tired all the time and long for space. You may feel alone and miss who you were. Your body is still recovering, and some days you are still trying to figure out if you’re going left or right.
Racialized stress, limited financial resources, and limited support can all make that first year harder. Per the CDC, mental health conditions were the most frequent underlying cause of pregnancy-related deaths from 2017 to 2019, at about 23% (CDC Maternal Mortality Review Committees). That category includes suicide and overdose.
The same report found that 53% of pregnancy-related deaths happened between one week and one year after delivery.
To be fully accurate, CDC found that cardiac and coronary conditions were the leading cause among Black women specifically. Your mind and body are connected.
If you are in crisis right now: If you are thinking about harming yourself or your baby, call or text 988 or call 911. You can also call or text the National Maternal Mental Health Hotline at 1-833-TLC-MAMA (1-833-852-6262). It is free, confidential, and open 24 hours a day.
How is postpartum depression treated?
According to NIMH, treatment often includes therapy, medication, or both. With proper treatment, most women feel better and their symptoms improve.
Everyday support matters too. Sitting outside on the patio for fresh air, drinking water, a supportive companion, a support group, a prayer, even a good scream can help you get through a hard day. Think of these as support alongside treatment, especially when symptoms have lasted longer than two weeks. And ask for help. Everything counts.
At Emergent Counseling and Consulting, our Maternal Mental Health program supports Black mothers across South Florida. Our therapists are Black clinicians trained in trauma-focused mind-body therapies. We use approaches such as AEDP (Accelerated Experiential Dynamic Psychotherapy) and Somatic Experiencing.
In everyday language, we help you feel safe enough to feel what you have been carrying. We move at your pace. You get to talk about your pain without first teaching your therapist about your culture.
Finding a Black therapist for postpartum depression in South Florida
Emergent Counseling and Consulting is based in Oakland Park in Broward County. We work with individuals and couples from Fort Lauderdale, Pompano Beach, Deerfield Beach, Plantation, Sunrise, Coral Springs, Hollywood, Miramar, and West Palm Beach. We provide in-person and telehealth services throughout Florida.
If you feel validated by this blog, I am glad you found it. Call us at 954-533-4828 or schedule a consultation. You deserve care that sees all of you.
Frequently Asked Questions
What is the difference between the baby blues and postpartum depression?
The baby blues are mild mood changes, worry, and exhaustion in the first two weeks after birth. Postpartum depression is more intense or lasts longer than two weeks. That is how NIMH describes the difference.
How long does postpartum depression last?
It varies from person to person. Perinatal depression can begin during pregnancy or after the baby is born. With proper treatment, most women feel better and their symptoms improve, according to NIMH.
Is it normal to feel angry or irritable after having a baby?
Some irritability comes with sleepless nights. Irritability that lingers, feels out of character, or scares you can be a sign of postpartum depression. NIMH lists irritability as a common symptom.
Can I get postpartum depression if I was fine after my first baby?
Yes. Each pregnancy brings its own stressors. NIMH notes that perinatal depression can affect any mother, and that life stress and past trauma can play a role.
Will someone take my baby if I tell a therapist I am struggling?
This fear keeps many mothers quiet. Therapists are required to act when someone is in immediate danger or a child is being harmed. Outside those situations, therapy is confidential. Ask your therapist to explain the limits of confidentiality in your first session.
Do I need a Black therapist for postpartum depression?
That choice is yours. Skilled therapists of every background treat postpartum depression. If sharing cultural context would help you feel safe enough to open up, that preference is valid and worth honoring.
Who can I call if I think I have postpartum depression?
Start with someone you trust: your OB, your pediatrician, or a therapist. You can call or text the National Maternal Mental Health Hotline at 1-833-TLC-MAMA any time, day or night. If you live in South Florida, you can call Emergent at 954-533-4828.
Your next step
If you have felt heavy for more than two weeks, make one call this week. Your doctor, the hotline, or our office at 954-533-4828. You don’t have to carry this alone.
Resources
- 988 Suicide and Crisis Lifeline: call or text 988
- National Maternal Mental Health Hotline: 1-833-TLC-MAMA (1-833-852-6262)
- Postpartum Support International: Black Moms Connect
- Postpartum Support International: Help for BIPOC Families
- Emergent Counseling and Consulting: 954-533-4828
This article is for education and does not replace individual medical or mental health care.